Becoming the Sage has not been an easy journey and as stated in part one, to be a Sage one requires knowledge and experience combined with a curiosity of the unknown. To be a Wise Sage one has to have has failed enough to be humble and has overcome enough to inspire. I have not always navigated through the different stages of my life with grace or gratitude, transitioning from one chapter to the next was not easy. When life got hard I would let resentment in and I would complain about our financial state and would say to my husband. “If I was working as a Nurse and not wasting time volunteering and studying we would be better off. We could afford to go on a holidays or buy an extra pair of shoes.” I would start worrying about money, how were we going to pay the electricity bill when it arrived or the car registration, we had 4 children and I was not contributing financially. I actually questioned all the decisions, I had made to this date. I missed nursing, I missed having the extra income to help pay bills, I missed my colleagues and the only good thing I could acknowledge was, no more night shift. My resentment was tearing me inside out, I could not seem to find anything to be grateful for. I lost confidence in me. I questioned the reality and my interpretation of the Angels visit. I felt lost. The mask i showed to the world that was starting to become very heavy. Each morning I would wake up and wonder why was I doing what I was doing. Was this really my destiny? Was I really going to be happy teaching, preaching and touching the hands of pregnant woman? As a habit I would sit and journal for fifteen minutes every morning and I would ask myself the question; how am I investing into my dream? I would then sit, wait and observe and little by little my life’s purpose seemed to unravel and illuminate a way forward. I had a dream about supporting and mentoring teenage pregnant girls in education and health, little did I know how much impact this program would have on the mothers, babies and partners and the joy it would bring me. By networking with other Organisation and especially Queensland Health, I would be working with Nursing colleagues again. The Hospital had Midwives work from Lifebridge(my offices) to support the teenage girls and then later a pilot program was trialed for a year for a New born and Family Drop in Service in the community. A couple days of the week, I got to work with Nurses again. To read more about the EMMA program. (Educating, Mentoring, Mothering Adolescents program) please copy and paste the below url. https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/sunshine-coast/mums-the-word/news-story/ae0138f84af807ecd70d2714086de87e The EMMA program. (Educating, Mentoring, Mothering Adolescents program) was the brainchild of Lyn Baird, of LifeBridge, and had been operating for six months before Jody Tunnicliffe and her program Youth Partnership came on board. It received funding from the then Caloundra Council, was modelled on similar schemes operating overseas. This was over 10 years ago now but I still get to supervise and counsel Nurses through EAP Employees Assistance Program. The quotes about nursing are true, once a nurse always a nurse.
I was aware of Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, but for some reason, I had not noticed that there was a fifth agreement published later in 2011 called ” The Fifth Agreement: A Practical Guide to Self-Mastery (Toltec Wisdom) by Don Miguel Ruiz, Don Jose Ruiz , Janet Mills which encourages us to embark on a journey to a deeper level of awareness to discover the power of “Self or who we are” so we return to our authentic selves. I was obviously not at a stage in my life to embrace this concept of living my life-map as the Sage. In part one of this blog ” Becoming the Sage,” I copied and pasted my professional Bio as I felt like I was a fraud and that I needed to justify why it was ok for me, to try and embrace the concept of becoming the Sage because I still felt like I had so much to learn. I was still wresting with question like; What is the truth? Why were books removed from the bible? What about the Dead Sea Scroll? The Fifth Agreement simply states, be skeptical, but learn to listen. Don’t believe yourself or anybody else unconditionally. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words and you will understand the real message. Don Miguel Ruiz went on to say ” By practicing the Five Agreements, what you are really doing is respecting everything in creation. You are respecting your dream; you are respecting everybody else’s dream. If you use these tools, your effort is really for everyone, because your joy, your happiness, your peace, and your heaven are contagious. When you are happy, the people around you are happy too, and it inspires them to change their own world.” This is the life I want to live. I want to live my life respecting my dreams and I wanted to live my authentic life so I too can inspire others to live their dreams. The permission to question everything was liberating and this is the message I want share; it is ok to be skeptical, but learn to listen.
By using the power of doubt to question everything you hear, I realised that I no longer wanted to teach or preach as I no longer believed everything as I once did. Instead I want to be a facilitator who helps a person sit in the unknown and find their own life-map, their own individual destiny. We were all born with a holy plan, a life-map. To be truely happy we need to let go of our false self and embrace the amazing human being we are. In the bible Jeremiah 1:5 .“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you” and again in Chapter 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” By inviting the reader to question what they are reading, gives me permission to write these blogs and publish my book. I, too am a student of life and in ten years time I might look back and say ‘I was wrong.’ But for now I am choosing to share what I am learning as this makes my soul sing. I have also given myself permission to continue writing my fictional book about Roslyn Clarke’s family from 1515 and the suffering they endured as women, the curses placed upon the family line and the legacy they have left for future generations.
To embrace my new life-map, I have had to learn to let go of preaching and teaching just like I let go of being a Registered Nurse. I have wrestled for weeks and months every time I have had to send an email to the governing bodies asking them to remove my name from the registry . I had worked and studied so hard to be registered with both Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Agency (AHPRA) as a Nurse and The International Network of Churches (INC) as a Minister of Religion yet God was asking me close the door on those chapters of my life so that I could starting living my next chapter. The time of transition is never easy and to be able to navigate through it I have had to hold onto my the new vision of being a facilitator and author. I am pleased that God has not asked me to give up Counselling, as I love what I do. What I do know is; that I have to balance my time into thirds between online course, book and clients.
Years ago I came across a great book by Rick Warren called ‘The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I here For? (2013). He discusses the concept of finding your S.H.A.P.E being Spiritual gifts, Heart, Ability, Personality and Experiences. It was a course I facilitated years ago and still encourage. Please see Click to access SHAPE_Inventory.pdf.
The Four Agreements – by Don Miguel Ruiz
The First Agreement – BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
The Second Agreement – DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
The Third Agreement – DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
The Fourth Agreement – ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Doing your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are tired as opposed to well rested. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The Fifth Agreement – BE SKEPTICAL, BUT LEARN TO LISTEN
Don’t believe yourself or anybody else unconditionally. Use the power of doubt to question everything you hear: Is it really the truth? Listen to the intent behind the words and you will understand the real message.