Journey within to find Me.

I am here in Scotland once again, and this is my spiritual home. It is where I stop and reflect. It is where I sit in the place of the unknown, the veil between heaven and earth or more importantly the veil between my ego and the real me. Who am I? Who am I really? My ego will tell me the list of qualities, my strengths, my achievements, my qualifications, my titles and the many roles I play. This is the side of me that I am happy for the world to see. My mean girl voice will tell me all the reasons I can’t or shouldn’t and remind me of my history where I have been both a victim and a persecutor. This is the side of me that I desperately hide, because if you knew all of this; would you still like me? Why is that we are programmed to worry about what other people think? We have moved into an epidemic of where we are so focused on outside validation we have forgotten to know how to love ourselves and we wonder why there is so many mental health issues.
How can we truely love others without loving ourselves first and understanding who we are as a human being, as a beautiful soul, a person here to love and give love, with a gift and a purpose. Our intellectual and ego driven mind finds it hard to grasp love and contemplation, that place of just being. I have to confess I needed to travel to the other side of the world to give myself the permission “to be.” AND now that I have finally learnt it, I am petrified to go back home and get back on the ego driven treadmill of doing. BUSY, Busy, Busy just so that I can feel like I am acceptable.
My ego bought me to Scotland to research and write, little did I know that God/ the Universe/ Mother Nature/ Wisdom whoever you feel comfortable to call love, bought me here firstly to come face to face with my self.  Who Am I.  It is time to find and show the real me.
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This is the song that is playing in my heart at the moment.
I Am Woman by Helen Reddy
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman
You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul
Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible…