Two years ago I found myself once again in Scotland as this is my spiritual home. It is where I stop and reflect. It is where I sit in the place of the unknown, the veil between heaven and earth or more importantly the veil between my ego and the real me. Who am I? Who am I really? My ego will tell me the list of qualities, my strengths, my achievements, my qualifications, my titles and the many roles I play. This is the side of me that I am happy for the world to see. My mean girl voice will tell me all the reasons I can’t or shouldn’t and remind me of my history where I have been both a victim and a persecutor. This is the side of me that I desperately hide, because if you knew all of this; would you still like me? Why is it that we are programmed to worry about what other people think? We have moved into a place where we are so focused on outside validation we have forgotten to know how to love ourselves. How can we truly love others without loving ourselves first and understanding who we are as a human being, as a beautiful soul, a person here to love and give love, with a gift and a purpose. Our intellectual and ego driven mind finds it hard to grasp love and contemplation, that place of just being and yet I resolved that this time when I left Scotland I would not let go of contemplation, that this would become a daily practice of mine.
I flew home from Scotland on the 14th of February 2020 with the resolve to write a fictional book. I had spent the last few months researching historical facts, reading the Apocrypha, which are the biblical books received by the early Church as part of the Greek version of the old testament but not included in our current Protestant Bibles. I spent the Christmas break wrestling with the theological question of why were these books removed from the bible. Reading page after page, my soul began to dance and soar, as my world began to make sense to me. In these books were pages and pages of confirmation that my spiritual insight was actually a gift and not wrong or evil. That it was ok to see angels, and more importantly to celebrate the joy of being a woman. The current church is patriarchal however if we read the texts from the Apocrypha through a spiritual feminist lens we can actually see how women are celebrated and honoured; and why the earth is often called Mother earth.
My soul danced as I read this passage,Wisdom 9:9 “With you is wisdom, She who knows your works, and was present when you made the world; She understands what is pleasing in your sight and what is right according to your commands. V:11 For She knows and understands all things and she will guide me wisely in my actions and guard me with her glory.”
As we know 2 weeks later our world changed as COVID 19 took front and centre stage of all thoughts and media coverage. I am so grateful that I continued my practice of daily contemplation and gratitude as life changed for us all. As a business woman and counselor, I had to make decisions, and I needed Wisdom. Wisdom 7:25 for She is the breath of the power of God, a reflection of eternal light, a spotless mirror of the workings of God. One of these decisions was to incorporate more spiritual and pastoral aspects into my counseling. As a society we want more than just our minds and bodies nurtured, we want our spiritual soul to be heard and valued.
Join me over the next 11 days as I introduce you to the Spirit of Wisdom over the next 11 days, till Epiphany day.